Thursday, January 12, 2012

4.) Waking From the Nightmare

“Kami,”  I sobbed, clutching tighter to Captain Kyoraku’s robes praying at the moment that it was possible to crawl inside him, least I face the consequences of this night.  “What have I done?”  



“Hey now, it wasn’t your fault and I think Lord of the Assholes knows it too.”  He cooed, running his hands down my back in a soothing manner and moving the sweat soaked hair from my back so my skin could breath in the cool night air.  It was a wonderful sensation, to have the billowing icy breeze kissing my bare flesh.  

His hands stopped short just as my mind screamed out in protest, but it was too late to turn back, to late to cover myself.  The distinct rumble that sounded deep from within his breast only established what I already knew.  He had seen the strips of marred skin on my back and I was not foolish enough to think him so dumb to not know what caused it.  

“Please!”  I begged.  “No one knows, not even Hisagi.”  

“Suzume,”  he replied seriously and though I could not see his face at the time, I knew that anger burned in his usually gentle eyes.  “This is no joke.  Someone needs to know about this.”

“It won’t do any good.  Not even you can undo the past,”  I pressed as the feeling of warm silk floated down from somewhere above me, saving me at least my modesty.  It smelled of peppermint and ohagi.  “Thank you Jyuu.”  I whispered.

“Your welcome.”  Came his ill laden voice, heavily scratched from his long bouts of coughing.  “Suzume, one day someone is going to find out about this.”

“I know, I’m just not ready to go dredging up the past yet.”  I told them, whipping a lone tear from my eye.

“I’ll kill him for this, you know that, right?”  Shunsui commented his voice gruff with his anger and all I could do was nod.

Feeling a little silly about being cradled like a baby in the lap of one of the oldest Captains in the history of the Gotei Thirteen I opened my eyes and turned my face.  Blushing a little I smiled at him to which he returned but it was forced.  

“What is it?”  I asked quietly.

Shunsui chuckled, petting the top of my head like I was his newly appointed house cat he replied, “Well other than you nearly scaring us to an early grave-”

He was cut off as the sky around us rumbled and the ground under us quaked.  A burst of heightened Reiatsu’s crackled and charged the air with colors of crimson and white.  “What’s going on?  Who is that?”  I yelled trying to force my voice to carry over another loud explosion.  

“Guess they’re getting serious, eh Jyuu?”  Kyoraku commented during a quiet moment, tipping his hat back over his eyes in thought.  



Captain Ukitake nodded, his eyes cutting into the direction I had been earlier when I had lost control of  myself.  “Yes, it seems that way.”  

“Well, shall we?”  Kyoraku asked, smiling cheekily up at his fellow captain.  “We should probably put a stop to this before Old Man Yama comes down from his white castle and throws us all in jail.”  

Ukitake just nodded, standing from his squatted position to cup my face gently.  “I hope to see you again when the timing is better.”  He said calmly, but I knew my sensei better than most.  It was a command, his own way of saying my meditation needed work.  I agreed wholeheartedly.  

“Yes, Master.”  I replied sarcastically.  

“Boy, I’ve missed you.”  Shunsui added.  “Now stay here, you don’t wanna be in he middle of this mess.”  

“I don’t even know what’s going on!”  I yelled but it was pointless as they were already gone.  Huffing I sat back down on bench trying to ignore the stares of a couple of stragglers who had finally caught wind of my presence.  

The area Kyoraku had left me in was still a ways from the heart of the party but it was close enough that I wouldn’t be left alone.  

“Zume!”  A male voice cried from a distance.  “Zume!”  

Turning in several different directions I couldn’t seem to find where the voice had come from or who it belonged to.  It only took me a few moments after that to realize I wasn’t as close to the party as I previously thought and neither was the voice calling out my name.  It had been so long since I came that close to losing all control over myself and becoming the monster I know that lurks inside me and I also forgot in that time how much more my sense expanded from inhuman level they were now.  

“Thank Kami, Suzume, are you alright?”  Shühei panted, sliding to a stop and throwing his arms around me, effectively knocking us both off the boulder I was sitting on.  

“I’m fine, idiot,”  I grouched, rolling us to my side and pushing him off me.  

“You sure as hell don’t look fine, you look like you were just put through one of Captain Kurotsuchi’s experiments.”  He gripped back, pointing his bony fingers into the tight wraps around my chest, the only thing keeping him from getting a full show, he added.  “What the Hell happened?  Do you know who that is fighting out there!”

I shook my head as he continued to rant and yell.  Looking down at myself I take note that my most cherished kimono lay in ruins, hanging from my waist with only my obi holding my skirts together to keep my lower half covered.  When my anger slowly ebbed away I wasn’t anything more than a gigantic mass of boneless sobs, streaked with sweat and tears.  Of course, Hisagi reacts the same way any other man in his position would react when dealing with a hysterical woman, he panics.

“Shit- no, don’t cry,”  He shouted frantically, hoisting me up into his arms.  “I don’t want that big baboon kickin’ my ass next.”  

“W-what?”  I gasped, my eyes going wide in astonishment.



He looked down at me with a smug smile, “You mean you couldn’t feel it? Renji showed up just as Captain Kyoraku flash stepped away with you… he was pretty pissed at Captain Kuchiki when he saw what shape you were in.”  

Staring up at him in confusion and disbelief I asked with trembling lips, “Why?”

He sighed long and clucked his tongue at me.  “You just don’t get it, do you?”  When I didn’t reply he sat me back down on my boulder and crossed his arms.  “Look, I’ve known Renji a hell of a long time and Kami knows he ain’t no saint… but I’ve never seen him once with a girl other than Rukia out in public.  He really likes you, Zume.”  

With a loud yawn I nodded and tried to stand.  My legs quaked with the effort and when my knees gave out strong arms lifted me.  Looking up with tired eyes to thank my friend I let out a startled gasp as my gaze fell up concerned nut-brown eyes.  “Hey,” he smiled leaning down to catch me under the crook of my knee and lifting me in a bridal carry.  “Just take it easy.”  

I nodded to tired to argue and snuggled into his chest.  “Wanna go back to the party or would you rather go home?”

“Home.”  I whispered, my eyes to heavy to even look up as the blackness swallowed me.  

~

The next morning came with a twittering of birds and sunshine.  Every joint and muscle in my body ached and groaned with every movement.  

“Are you feeling better, dear heart?”  My fathers concerned voice carried to my ears.

Opening my eyes slow and deliberately, as not to blind myself with the early morning sun.  He was hunched over me, a wet cloth in hand and I could tell just by looking at him that he had worried himself sick throughout the night.  

“Well enough, Father.”  I told him sarcastically, raising to a sitting position.  “So I take it you know what happened?”  

He nodded.  “Are you disappointed in me, Father?”

He chuckled at my worried face, “Child, you forget that I once was young and I too had a hard time controlling my temper in my youthful years.”

“It was not unprovoked.”  I told him scornfully, jutting my chin in the air though it was done with false conviction.  Truthfully, I was angry with myself more than I could ever be at Lord Kuchiki, though I didn’t feel he was completely innocent from the resent conflict.

“As I was told.”  He answered his eyes narrowing as his gloved finger gripped my chin and forced me to look at him.

“By whom?”  I asked, wondering who had come this morning while I still slumbered to regale my father with the tale of my misdeeds.  

“I’ve had many visitors this morning, Captain Ukitake and Captain Kyoraku, who came by to retrieve a certain article of clothing.  I must admit that at first I didn’t know what to think when Captain Abarai showed up last night, carrying you in his arms with you wearing not but the captain’s robes of the Thirteenth Division.  The man was positively frantic in his worry for you.  It took me a moment, but once I saw the blood on your mouth and under your nails, I understood.”  

“I’m ashamed of myself.”  I whispered, tightening my arms around myself, hoping to keep the pain and hurt inside.  

“Hisagi said as much when he stopped by this morning to check on you…”  he trailed off with a smirk pulling at his muzzle.  “along with a certain man whose name you kept calling in your sleep.”  

My eyes that had been downcast shot open as blush scorched my face.  “F-father?”  I questioned searching his eyes, praying he was just teasing me.  

“Do not worry, young one.  I was the same way with your mother.”  He laughed sliding to one knee to rise.  

I clutched at his pant leg before he could escape,  “B-but, I just met him?”  

“Yes,” he replied, his face softening to a nostalgic understanding.  “but our kind are different in our affections, never forget that.”  Striding across the room with heavy footsteps he stopped just in the entrance to bid me farewell.  “Father, will I be punished for actions against Captain Kuchiki?”  “I asked before he made it fully out the door.



He sighed, leaning on the door frame, hunching over as to not hit his head.  “I do not believe so, Captain’s Kyoraku, Ukitake, Hisagi and Abarai all spoke with the Captain Commander this morning on your behalf, and Genryüsai knows the difficult time I had with such things when I was just a pup.  I must leave for the Division.  Take all the time you need today… I’m sure you are sore.”  

I nodded, blowing him a kiss as he filed out the door, his robes swishing loudly with each step.  

~

I tried laying in bed, I tried taking a bath but no matter the task I couldn’t get him off my mind.  What would he think of me now?  Would I become the monster I tried to warn him I was?  Would he be lost to me?  The last thought did not sit well with me at all and it bothered me more than it should.  Why should I care if he was still interested in me or not?  Because you’re already crazy about him, that’s why!  

With a heavy sigh, I dressed and readied myself for another day of tedious forms and squad evaluations.  I did notice, however that I put special care into my appearance this morning; making sure my hair was expertly brushed to a high glossed shine and styled with just as much care.  I even gave my powder box a wary glance before deciding against it.  I rarely wore makeup and figured if I really was helping Iba with Squad Member Assessments that I would more than like sweat it off anyhow.

The streets of the Serieitei seemed almost barren to me as the city took on the feel of almost a ghost town, but that was fine with me.  Not knowing how the others would react to what happened between the famous Captain and I had my stomach in knots and my nerves in an uproar.  

As the day wore on my previous snide comments about tedious paperwork seemed to come back and bight me in the ass.  Not once did I lift a brush.  My day was spent outside, used as a calibrator of sorts for Lieutenant Iba’s “tests”.  



By the time my shift was nearly over, I wanted nothing more than to shower and fall into bed, not to be bothered again until the morning.  Only one of those request was met.  

Freshly showered and in a clean uniform, I sat in front of the mirror in my barracks room, trying to re-pin my hair to its former glory.  

“Does he know?”  Iba said kneeling behind me, though he seemed to come out of nowhere.  

I shrieked, spinning around and clutching at my chest, I gasped.  “What are you doing in here, and what are you talking about?”  

The longer he sat there motionless and silent the more I wanted to smack the tinted spectacles from his face.  His hands were shaking but his face remained aloof as he hesitantly reached out towards me.  “Does your father know who hurt you?”  

“H-how… you saw didn’t you?”  I asked in outrage.  Not really upset with him for something so out of his control but once again at myself, that totaled a whopping three people that knew about my scars now and it was still just my third week.  

He nodded.  “Just for a moment.”  he answered solemnly, growing quiet again before he softly spoke.  “My mother used to beat me with Kidö chains when I was young, though never to that extent.  It must have been a very powerful Kidö Master to have left such marks and was unafraid of the consequences behind using it on the Captain’s daughter.”  

Tears were already falling from my eyes when I muttered.  “Yes… he is.”  

For the first time during our conversation a spark of anger could be seen in his features.  “It was that bastard of an Uncle of yours, isn’t it?”  

Neither denying or confirming I commanded.  “You must not tell anyone. Promise me, Tetsuzaemon?”  

“I cannot and will not make that promise.  But I will promise not to tell unless asked.”  

“Thank you.”  

“Now, I need you to deliver some blank forms to the Squad Three.  But after I want to take you somewhere, it will not heel those scars but perhaps we can hide them with something beautiful.”  He told me, a small and rare smile gracing his lips.  He rose suddenly.  “Well, I’m off to spar with Maderame.”  

“You mean you’re off to get drunk.”  I snarked.

“Cleaver girl, you know me so well.”  

“Hardly, the whole of the Serieitei know you that well.”

~

With my mood elevated I was practically skipping when I entered through the Squad three gates, blowing past the gawking underclassman who if I didn’t know better, would think had never seen a woman before.  Some were even bold enough to make cat-calls and other obscene gestures and the deep into the courtyard I got the more I regretted not bringing an escort.  



“Damn, you here for me, baby?”  One would call.

“Look at the ass on that.  I hate to see her go but I love to watch her leave.”  Another one said, and I gulped.  

A dense circle of black robes had surrounded me, and everyone of them was hell bent on riling me up.  One particularly brave one left the crowd and approached me but just as the filth started to spew from his mouth a commanding voice shouted.  “Wait are you idiots gawking at?  FALL IN LINE!”  

Sighing in relief at the sound of his voice, I turned and smiled.  “Suzume,”  he smiled, embarrassing me as he wrapped an arm around me and kissed my cheek.  “How are you?”

“Been better,”  I replied, jerking my chin at the line of morons who deemed themselves the creators of my irritation.  

His eyes narrowed and his arm tightened as he turned again to face his men.  “You morons were looking at my woman?”  I looked down to hide my embarrassment as his men all muttered out their excuses, but when I did look down I wished I hadn’t.  

What is he wearing?  I internally gasped, my entire body heating with the force of my blush.  He was wearing nothing more than a glorified sleeping robe.  

If he noticed my embarrassment he didn’t comment, but he did kiss the top of my head and pull me off in the direction of his office, yelling over his shoulders.  “Get your asses in formation!  Drill 33! Anyone that stops before I return gets to take a vacation to Squad 12, understood?”

“YES, SIR!”

“You know,”  I giggled, trying not to openly laugh at the men being punished behind me.  “You really didn’t have to do that, it was fine?”  

He stopped, turning me to face him before cupping my face with his palm. “Sure I did. You’re not just some floozy, you’re a lady and they need to learn respect. Now, come on, I’m sure you came here for a reason?”  

“I did.”  I said following him again.

“Well come on and tell me all about it.”

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